So I have been sitting here at work with nothing to do at the end of the day and so I thought I would read some random blogs. I found a blog on my friends' website and from there found many more blogs about people who have lost thier children.
All these people have lost thier babies at different times, still borns, young toddlers, bigger children. Some of these children had big health problems in the womb, some died of tragic accidents. It is AMAZING to me the strength that we as human beings can somehow find and dig deep within our souls and fight. We fight to survive.
I know I did. I look back on that summer of 2007 and I do NOT know how I made it. Well I do, I have an amazing husband who gave me all the strength he could lend, amazing family support coming from both sides, wonderful friends, the Savior, my testimony, my faith and the book Tear Drop Soup. My emotions and Tyler's emotions were fried, and it came to the point where you have to decide what to do with your grief, we knew we couldn't be sad forever.
And now I have other people's stories to rely on. Loosing a child is something you just cannot know what it is like until you experience it. I love Karson SO much, and as much as I love him, when I think about Easton I still get sad and I miss him. That will never go away as his mother. Easton was my first experience of a child growing inside of me, of feeling a baby move, of seeing something that I created with the person I love more than anything.
So I thought since the blogs I read give me strength and help my faith to grow, I wanted to create a blog about my experience with loss, and what I have learned from it and in rememberance of Easton. So many of these blogs I have read in one way or another ask the heart wrenching question of " Why?" that is a horrible word sometimes, because the answer is like a never ending circle. Any way I haven't started the blog yet,but I hope my story will help to give other families like ours some comfort, because when you feel like you are the only one who had this happen to you, you most definately or not, and just when you think you have it bad, you hear or someone else who has had it ten times worse than you and is so much stronger than you ever thought a human being could be.
3 comments:
I think thats a great idea, and I really think writing thoughts done about it helps stregthen you. Let me know what the webpage name is when you get it up and running.
I have been reading a few blogs I ran into where they lost a child, they are so sad, but really make me have a deeper appreciation for my children.
Here is one of my favorite blogs: http://jacksonparkcity.blogspot.com
She really has a way with words. You have to go pretty far back in her blog, but her little girl choked on an apple and died about 4months ago...
BreeAnn you are such a strong and amazing person! Let me know the blog site when you have it up. One blog that I really like is the one on my blog page about Baby Mac. Amanda told me about it! Reading about other peoples experiences truly makes you a stonger person! You will be amazed at how many people you will touch!
I just have to leave you a comment. I came across your blog through Amanda De Amicis's blog. I have been friends with Amanda since high school. I drop in on your blog every couple of months to see what your cute family is up to. I have noticed a few things that make me feel like you and I have a lot in common. We both have the same bedroom set(wow), I think we both live in Riverton, and mostly we have both lost a baby. I lost my sweet baby girl in 2006. I think blogs are an incredible tool for me to cope with my loose. It actually helps me cope when I share my experience. Sometimes I feel as though people don't recognize that she is daughter of God. She wasn't just a body, but she does exist. I like to think she is busy doing the Lords work and that is her plan. It is interesting that death doesn't scare me as much as it used. I have something great to look forward to. On the other hand I feel like my purpose is here right now. Obviously! (Sorry for the long comment.) I mainly wanted to thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes I feel I am crazy for still crying over the loose of my baby that occured 2 years ago. I don't feel so alone when I read about others experiences. Thanks again. Oh and your new baby is a little doll. I love his hair!
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