A thought....

The house is quiet, and I am listening to the dryer

thinking about the towels, the whites and the other pile

of darks that need to get done

The bed is unmade, because fresh sheets are waiting to be put on

2 year old is finally in his room quietly playing cars and watching a movie

baby is sleeping, as he has been ALL day

which means a long night for me again

he will need to eat soon

Husband is gone, won't be home for a few more hours

exhausted tears slowly run down my face

because today I feel inadequate of being a mom

tomorrow I will go into work for 8 hours

have plenty to get done there

some groceries are still on the counter

waiting to be put away

the vacumme is out, waiting to be used

but here I sit on the computer

Lack of sleep is really taking it's toll on me

I can feel it everywhere inside of me

I don't want to be awnry, or short, but it's hard

I don't remember it being this hard

I love my boys, I love them SO much

I am so thankful they are both healthy and strong

but days like today I just want to sit on my bed

watchign FRIENDS re-runs and eating some kind of

fatty, chocolatey food....

I know it's just one day, and tomorrow will bring

new things, but today, is a day where I feel inadequate...

I have a necklace...

I have a necklace that my mom-in-law gave me after we lost Easton. I always try to wear it for special occasoins, holidays, and just when I want to feel him near me. Of course I wore it when Karson was born, and when this baby was born as well. Right after baby boy was born they put him on my chest, no joke the first thing he did was lift his head right up, ( my Dr. was shocked) and took his sweet little hand and grabbed onto my necklace, I mean he was holding on tight. The tears fell and it was a special moment for me, it's as if he was saying goodbye to his big brother, and Easton was releasing him to us. I will forever remember that moment, and wanted to write it down so I wouldn't forget. Regardless of the 2 hours of sleep a night, the fact that my legs are so swollen I have no knee caps at the moment, babies are the most precious gift, and I am very grateful that I have been trusted with 3 beautiful boys, 2 of whom I have here now, and 1 I have for later.....

Baby Boy Fankhauser

Our sweet little guy arrived 4/4/11 at 3:55 pm weighing 7.7 pounds and was 20 inches long.

I will write all about the birth story later but wanted to hurry and put some pictures on! he is doing great, and we love him to pieces! He has a ton of hair just like Karson did, and so far he is just a good of a baby as Karson was!