Easton...

A couple of months ago Tyler and I were watching Desperate Houswives...it was an episode where they were showing current events now, and then what the future "could" be like. Lynette a character on the show was pregnant with twins and she was having complications...they went to the hospital and she was told that her son was having difficulty in the womb and if he were to live he would be disabled, she was concerned by this and started having doubts as a mother. It showed the future where she helped her son become a great young man, and he went on to be the valedictorian in his class.

After she woke up from her surgery she found out she had lost her little boy, but that her daughter inside of her was o.k. She started crying and said, "he would have been so great". At this point I started bawling uncontrollably, I hadn't cried that hard in a long time, Tyler knew exactly why I was crying and just held me and let me cry. It's good to have those moments every now and then, to just let it out.

Easton will be 3 years old this year, and it's hard for me to comprehend that sometimes. It's like that whole experience was a dream, and yet sometimes I can feel the pain so vividly that it hurts. I was at a baby shower on Saturday and a woman came with her baby boy and his name was Easton. It's wierd for me when I see a child with that name, a little something inside me aches, and at times it's hard to breathe. I often wonder what his personality would be like, what would he like and dislike. We have started showing Karson picture of Easton and telling him who he is, and I swear he gets it, I swear he does. He becomes quiet and reverent and listens to me talk about him.